Fierce Marriage Book Review

I was first introduced to Ryan and Selena Frederick via their website last year.  I was going through a very difficult season personally, professionally and especially physically and it was all taking a toll on my marriage.  I was looking for help and advice anywhere I could find it and lo and behold there they were in my Google search!

I read a little about their story online and then began to devour (yes, gobble up every soundbite and word I could find!) every video and blog post they had shared.  And it was so good!

When the opportunity came to join the Fierce Wives Facebook group I was glad to be part of a larger community of women speaking life into one another, sharing their struggles and their praise stories.  It feels good when you know you are not alone.  That others have the same struggles.  That you are normal.

(If you are a wife looking for community, check it out here)

Then came time for their book launch to begin and I was accepted to be on the launch team which has been so exciting!

To be transparent I did receive this book free as a member of the book launch team.  That being said, I would buy more of them to give to any friend about to get married, going through a difficult time in marriage, etc., as it is an excellent resource and tool for strengthening your relationship!  

The honesty and rawness of their relationship is on display in this book with the wisdom of scripture to back up their teaching on how living out your marriage the way God intended yields beautiful results!  

I appreciate the work Ryan and Selena put into this book…it is not just a religious work, nor is it just a self-help book…it is the best of both.  Offering practical tips, sound Biblical wisdom and real world situations that we can all relate to makes this one of the best books on marriage I have come across.  In the season my life has been in the last year to eighteen months, I have read several books, articles and visited counselors regarding marriage help for crisis situation.  This book spoke truth into so many areas and helped me see why I had stumbled for so long trying to do things my way.  

Get this book, read it, then read it again with a highlighter in hand.  Then read it again with your spouse.  Each time you will glean new truths.  Then buy some for your friends.  They will thank you for it!

Modern Wife – Happy Life or is it a farce?

I am more than blessed to be married to the love of my life, my very best friend, the only man I have ever known.  We started dating when I was just 16, he was 17…dated for 6 years and have now been married almost 15.  December 12, 1998…the day that I said forever to Jonathan Ray Black.

I have experienced so many friends and family members whose happily ever afters imploded. Disintegrated from happiness to misery before their very eyes.  Eyes full of love for another became eyes filled with disgust, despair, sadness and sometimes hate.  Years of building up a relationship can be lost in a moment of selfishness.  Yet sometimes that downward spiral is slow…a breakdown of expectations that were set too high and mindsets that will not yield to compromise or change.

I would challenge you to evaluate your relationship with your husband or wife.  Are you expecting too much?  Are they?  Are you communicating your hurt, your fears and your regrets in a way that brings about positive change or are you just yelling and screaming without listening to one another?  If you feel you are on the way out, do you love that person enough to want to stay in?  Commit yourselves before the Lord to begin by really listening to each others heart and being willing to admit faults in your own. Commit yourselves again to those vows you spoke on your wedding day…for better or worse, till death do us part.  That was a sacred vow spoken before an Almighty God.  That is not something to be taken lightly.

Wives, if this poem resonates with you, please pray…bend your knees and pray.  Not just that your husband would change…pray for change in yourself.  What do you need to do differently to be the wife he needs you to be?  What do you need to do differently to be the woman God made you to be?  I firmly believe when you truly relinquish yourself to your Creator, you will be loosed from the chains that bind you.

Lord thank you that I have a godly man who is always looking for ways to love me and to be a blessing to others.  May it always be so.

This poem is for those of you who are hurting, who are torn between commitment and fleeing the scene of the crime.  May your marriages be blessed through re-commitment to the only one who can heal it…God.

Modern Wife
I do the laundry, I clean, I cook
Yet all I get sometimes are dirty looks
Don’t ask for much yet told I’m a nag,
Treated like I’m ugly as a hag.

No kisses given, just a token lip touch,
No tenderness or affection that I crave so much.
Would be so easy to just hold hands,
Sometimes I feel I don’t know this man.

I may not be all he envisioned or dreamed
But am I really as awful as he makes it seem?
I don’t feel pretty anymore, not even cute,
To bring any of this to his attention would be moot.

I’ve never claimed to be perfect, yet neither is he
I love him and just wish he’d open his eyes to see
The pain and hurt I feel isn’t pretend,
No longer my lover or confidant, barely my friend.

We live in this house together, but apart
Closely confined in space, far apart in heart.
Will it ever change or is this what marriage is to be?
I only desired to be loved, to be accepted for me.